So, you’re about to get engaged. Yay! Or… oh no? If you’ve spent more time curating the perfect Pinterest wedding board than actually discussing lifelong commitment with your partner, you’re not alone. And let’s be honest, dodging Aunt Karen’s “When’s the proposal?” interrogation at Thanksgiving was practically an Olympic sport. But now that the big moment is here (or creeping closer like an Amazon package you forgot you ordered), you might be feeling an unexpected wave of panic. Deep breaths, girl. Let’s work through this together.
1. Accept That Panic Is Normal (But Not the Boss of You)
The thought of legally binding yourself to another human for forever is enough to make anyone break into a sweat. But panic doesn’t mean something is wrong, it just means your brain is processing something big. Like when you impulsively get bangs and instantly regret it. Give yourself grace.
2. Identify What’s Freaking You Out
Are you afraid of losing your independence? Worried about in-laws who treat you like their new unpaid therapist? Or is it just the sheer pressure of crafting the perfect “I said yes!” Instagram caption? Naming your fears makes them way less scary. And if it’s just the caption, might we suggest: “Trapped him. He’s mine now. #Success”
3. Stop Comparing Your Relationship to Rom-Coms (or That One Girl from High School’s Highlight Reel)
If you’re spiraling because your proposal doesn’t include a private jet, 500 roses, and a Taylor Swift soundtrack, let’s get real. Your love story is yours, not Netflix’s next hit. And trust me, the girl from high school posting #blessed engagement photos? She probably fought with her fiancé over where to eat that same night.
4. Talk to Your Partner (Because They’re the One You’re Actually Marrying, Not Your Group Chat)
It’s tempting to analyze every feeling with your besties, your barista, and the Uber driver who barely speaks English, but your fiancé deserves a front-row seat to your thoughts. Be honest about your fears and make sure you’re on the same page. And if they make you feel dumb for worrying, huge red flag.
5. Embrace the Unknown (Because Control Is an Illusion Anyway)
Look, no one really knows what they’re doing in marriage. Even those 80-year-old couples who finish each other’s sentences? They winged it too. Life isn’t a pre-written script, so stop stressing over the plot twists and enjoy the ride.
6. Remember That Commitment Doesn’t Mean Losing Yourself
Marriage isn’t an episode of The Bachelor where you “give up” your individuality for love. You still get to have solo hobbies, travel with your friends, and eat that weird sushi your fiancé hates. Think of marriage like a sleepover with your best friend that never ends, except with shared bills and laundry.
7. Set Realistic Expectations (Because No, He Won’t Magically Love Brunch as Much as You Do)
Hollywood has sold us the lie that love means complete compatibility. Reality check: You might never get him to appreciate charcuterie boards, and he’ll probably always leave socks next to the hamper. But that’s okay, love isn’t about perfection, it’s about choosing each other despite the small annoyances.
8. Address the Elephant in the Room: In-Laws
Whether they’re overbearing, too chill, or straight-up concerning, in-laws are part of the package. The key is boundaries. (Yes, even if his mom still calls him her baby boy and tries to redecorate your future house.) Learn to navigate these dynamics now so your future doesn’t involve passive-aggressive Thanksgiving dinners.
9. Think Beyond the Wedding (Because the Party Lasts One Day, But Marriage Is for Life)
It’s easy to obsess over flower arrangements and completely forget that the actual marriage is what matters. If you’re more worried about centerpieces than communication skills, it’s time to refocus. Pinterest won’t be there to help when you’re arguing about whose turn it is to clean the bathroom.
10. Trust Yourself (Because You Actually Know What You’re Doing)
At the end of the day, you’re the expert on your relationship. Ignore the noise, the unsolicited advice, and definitely the Facebook comments. You’ve got this. And if you ever doubt yourself? Just remember: Even Beyoncé has to deal with commitment, and she’s doing just fine.
Final Thoughts: It’s Okay to Be Nervous, Just Don’t Let Fear Make the Decisions
Marriage is a leap of faith, but so is every great adventure. So, whether you’re excited, terrified, or just wondering how to subtly tell your fiancé that his proposal idea sucks, know that you’re not alone. Now, spill, what’s your biggest fear about getting engaged? Drop it in the comments so we can all panic and laugh together.