So, you’re about to get engaged. Congratulations! Or should I say, welcome to the emotional rollercoaster where you obsess over Pinterest boards at 3 AM, practice writing your new last name in a notebook like a middle schooler, and desperately try to dodge Aunt Karen’s questions about the proposal.
But suddenly… BAM! Cold feet. Not just the kind you get from stepping on your kitchen tile barefoot in winter, but the kind that makes you question if you should run off to Bali and start a new life selling coconuts instead of picking out wedding colors. Don’t worry, my friend, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about how to handle those pre-engagement jitters like the queen you are.
1. Acknowledge the Freak-Out
First thing’s first: You’re not a monster. Getting engaged is a big deal, and it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed. Your brain is basically buffering right now like a slow Wi-Fi connection, and that’s okay.
2. Sort Out Your Thoughts (Without Spiraling)
Are you nervous because you hate commitment or because your best friend’s husband planned the perfect proposal and now you’re scared yours will involve a drive-thru and a free toy from the kid’s meal? Make a list of your concerns and see what’s actually valid versus what’s just social media-induced anxiety.
3. Call Your Non-Judgy Bestie
Not the one who will gaslight you into thinking you need a dramatic escape plan, but the one who knows you well enough to talk you off the ledge. Bonus points if she brings snacks.
4. Take a Break from Wedding Overload
If you’ve been buried under an avalanche of wedding inspo, step away from the Pinterest board before you convince yourself you need an imported French chateau for the ceremony. Go binge your favorite reality show or touch some grass.
5. Laugh About It
Turn your cold feet into comedy gold. Text your fiancé something like, “Hey, just a heads up, I may or may not be considering a career in professional cat-herding instead of wedding planning.” See how they react. If they laugh, you’ve got a keeper.
6. Revisit Your Why
Why did you fall in love with this person in the first place? Was it their terrible dad jokes? The way they know your coffee order by heart? The fact that they watched all eight Harry Potter movies with you even though they still call Voldemort “that bald dude”? Focus on what truly matters.
7. Address Any Real Issues
Cold feet are one thing; legitimate red flags are another. If there are real concerns (e.g., financial stress, lifestyle differences, or their mom already acting like she gets veto power on your wedding dress), talk them out before the engagement ring is involved.
8. Ignore Society’s Countdown Clock
There’s no rule that says you have to get engaged just because “it’s time.” Ignore the pressure to craft the perfect Instagram caption or make your proposal story sound like a Nicholas Sparks novel.
9. Visualize the Future (Without Panicking)
Instead of imagining yourself as a runaway bride (or worse, starring in your own reality show called 90-Day Fiance: Second Thoughts Edition), picture what daily life will actually look like with your partner. Do you see yourself happy, comfortable, and still laughing at their terrible jokes? That’s what matters.
10. Trust Yourself
At the end of the day, you know yourself best. If you’re just having normal nerves, breathe and embrace the journey. If something genuinely doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore that feeling. Either way, trust your gut, it got you this far, didn’t it?
Final Thoughts (Before You Buy a One-Way Ticket to the Bahamas)
Cold feet don’t mean you’re doomed. They mean you’re human. Take a deep breath, sip some wine (or tea, if you’re fancy like that), and remember: You’ve got this. And hey, if all else fails, tell your fiancé that if they really love you, they’ll propose with tacos instead of a ring.
Got a funny cold feet story? Drop it in the comments, we could all use a laugh!