Okay, let’s be real: If you’ve spent more time curating the perfect engagement ring aesthetic than actually talking to your partner about marriage, it’s time for an intervention. We get it, those oval-cut diamonds with the dainty gold bands are calling your name. But while you’re out here obsessing over ring styles and mood lighting for your future proposal pics, have you checked in with yourself?
Before you say yes to forever, let’s talk about feeling confident in you, not just the dress, the decor, or that fire engagement caption you’ve been drafting for months. (“She said yes! But I made him sweat for a minute.”) Here are six daily habits to boost your confidence before getting engaged, because the best thing you can bring into marriage is not just a stunning ring but a strong sense of self.
1. Talk to Yourself Like You’re Your Own Hype Woman
You wouldn’t let your best friend spiral into self-doubt before a big life moment, so why do it to yourself? Start each morning with some positive self-talk, bonus points if you say it out loud in the mirror like you’re in a movie montage.
Try this: Look yourself in the eyes and say, “I am a catch, and any man would be lucky to put a ring on this.” If this feels weird, just remember: men give themselves pep talks before fantasy football drafts, so you can definitely do it before a lifelong commitment.
2. Master the Art of Saying ‘No’
Before you get engaged, practice setting boundaries, because once that ring is on your finger, the unsolicited wedding opinions will flow like rosé at a bachelorette party. If you’re already dodging family questions like, “So, when is he proposing?” it’s time to get comfortable with a polite but firm “None of your business, Aunt Karen.”
Daily Practice: Say “no” to small things that drain you, extra work projects, unnecessary drama, or agreeing to binge-watch The Bachelor with your friend when you just want to go to bed.
3. Stop Comparing Your Relationship to Instagram Couples
Social media will have you thinking that every proposal happens at sunset in Santorini with a professional photographer hiding in the bushes. Reality check: Most engagements happen in places like a crowded restaurant or the living room while wearing sweatpants. And that’s okay.
Instead of scrolling through yet another overly staged proposal, focus on what makes your relationship special. Remember: the best part of your love story isn’t the Instagrammable moment, it’s the person you’re building a life with.
4. Develop a Hobby That’s 100% Yours
Before you get engaged, make sure you have something in your life that’s just for you, not for your partner, not for Instagram, and definitely not for your future in-laws’ approval.
Why? Because one day, you might find yourself explaining to his great-aunt why you’re not changing your last name, and having a stress-relieving hobby will keep you from responding with something you’ll regret.
Try baking, kickboxing, or learning a new language (so you can secretly curse under your breath in stressful situations, highly useful at family gatherings).
5. Get Comfortable Making Big Decisions
Engagement is basically a crash course in decision-making: Wedding or elopement? Buffet or plated dinner? Do you really need a string quartet playing Bridgerton covers at the ceremony? (Yes, obviously.)
Start small: Pick the restaurant for date night instead of saying, “I don’t care, you choose.” Decide what movie to watch without polling five friends. The more you flex your decision-making muscles now, the easier it’ll be to handle the actual big decisions later, like whether or not to let your future MIL help plan the seating chart. (Spoiler: Don’t.)
6. Embrace the Awkward Conversations
Confidence isn’t just about looking good in photos, it’s about handling real conversations. If you and your partner haven’t discussed money, kids, or whether pineapple belongs on pizza (the most important debate of all time), now’s the time.
It’s tempting to avoid the serious talks and just hope that love will magically solve everything, but real talk, a confident future spouse knows what they want and isn’t afraid to discuss it. (And if he panics over a simple “What are our financial goals?” question, maybe he’s not quite engagement-ready.)
Final Thoughts: Confidence is Your Best Accessory
Before you stress over finding the perfect engagement ring selfie lighting, focus on finding confidence in yourself. The best marriages aren’t built on the size of the diamond but on two people who feel secure in who they are.
So tell me, what’s one thing you’re doing to build your confidence before getting engaged? Drop your thoughts in the comments below! (Or just share your Pinterest board, I won’t judge.)