So, you’re about to get engaged. Or maybe you think you’re about to get engaged, but your boyfriend is still acting suspiciously normal, and your mom keeps dropping hints like, “Oh honey, I just happened to be looking at wedding venues today.” Meanwhile, your Pinterest wedding board has more pins than your actual relationship has photos. Sound familiar?
Engagement season is basically The Hunger Games for your sanity, and between dodging family questions (“When’s the ring coming?”), crafting the perfect Instagram announcement, and pretending you haven’t already picked your first dance song, it’s easy to forget the most important thing: actually building a solid foundation for your marriage.
So, how do you know if you and your partner are on the right track? Here are 12 signs that you’re not just planning a wedding, you’re preparing for a lifetime together.
1. You Can Discuss the “Big Stuff” Without One of You Running for the Hills
If you can openly talk about money, kids, religion, and whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza without anyone rage-quitting the conversation, you’re doing great. Marriage means tackling the heavy topics, not just deciding which aesthetic your wedding hashtag should have (#HappilyEverAnderson, anyone?).
2. You’ve Survived an IKEA Trip Together
Nothing tests the strength of a relationship like assembling a MALM dresser with only a hex key and dwindling patience. If you’ve made it through IKEA without considering throwing the instruction manual (or each other) out the window, you’re golden.
3. You’re Comfortable Being Your Real Self
If your partner has seen you ugly cry over a canceled brunch plan, heard your weird sleep noises, and still thinks you’re the best thing since iced coffee, you’re on solid ground. No one can maintain the “first date version” of themselves forever.
4. You Handle Stress Like a Team
Wedding planning will bring stress. So will life. If you two can navigate work drama, family feuds, and last-minute plan changes without passive-aggressively slamming cabinet doors, congrats, you’re already ahead of the game.
5. You’re Not Afraid to Be Boring Together
If you can spend an entire Saturday in sweatpants, watching Netflix, and having deep debates about whether Ross and Rachel were really on a break, you’re in it for the long haul.
6. You Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
When he forgets to take the trash out, you don’t immediately start Googling annulment laws. When you accidentally shrink his favorite hoodie, he doesn’t file it under “Reasons to Doubt This Marriage.” Marriage is about choosing your battles and laughing at the little mishaps.
7. You Have Your Own Lives (and Love That About Each Other)
A healthy relationship doesn’t mean being attached at the hip 24/7. If he has poker nights with the guys and you have wine-and-reality-TV nights with your girls, and neither of you freaks out about it, that’s a win.
8. You Know How to Apologize (and Mean It)
If “I’m sorry” in your relationship isn’t followed by “…but you started it!” then you’re on the right track. No passive-aggressive sighing. No silent treatment. Just mature, meaningful apologies. Bonus points if it comes with ice cream.
9. You Can Be Honest (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)
If you can tell him his outfit looks like a lost member of a ’90s boy band and he can tell you that your homemade brownies are actually just burnt sugar bricks, all without hurting each other’s feelings, you’re in great shape.
10. You Can Talk About Finances Without Needing Therapy After
Money is awkward. But if you two can discuss budgets, spending habits, and long-term financial goals without anyone dramatically declaring, “You don’t trust me!” then you’re already ahead of half of newlyweds.
11. You Handle Family Drama Like a Pro
If you can navigate your mom’s passive-aggressive comments about your wedding colors or his aunt’s unsolicited marriage advice without eloping in frustration, you’re golden. Marriage is basically 50% love and 50% politely surviving family group chats.
12. You Actually Like Each Other (Not Just Love Each Other)
Love is important. But so is genuinely liking each other. If you think your partner is funny, interesting, and someone you’d actually choose as a friend (even without the romance), that’s a major win.
Final Thoughts (aka, Your Pre-Engagement Pep Talk)
If you nodded along to most of these, congrats! You’re laying down the bricks for a rock-solid marriage, not just an epic wedding. And if you still have a few areas to work on? That’s normal. Marriage isn’t about perfection, it’s about two people figuring it out together, preferably with snacks.
Now, tell me, what’s been your biggest pre-engagement struggle? Family pressure? Instagram caption anxiety? Share your hilarious (or mildly traumatic) experiences in the comments!