So, your Pinterest board is overflowing with wedding inspo, your manicure is perpetually proposal-ready, and your mom has started asking casual (but very much not casual) questions like, “Have you two talked about the future?” in a tone that suggests she already has the caterer on speed dial. You, my friend, are on the precipice of engagement.
Before you dive headfirst into the whirlwind of ring selfies and “OMG he finally proposed!!!” captions, let’s have a quick reality check. A wedding is a day, but a marriage is, well, a whole lot of days. And before you say “yes” to forever, you want to make sure you and your future fiancé have trust stronger than your grandma’s opinions on proper wedding etiquette. Here’s how to build that rock-solid foundation:
1. Be Honest, Even When It’s Awkward
If you can’t admit that you sometimes eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag at 2 a.m., are you even in a real relationship? Transparency is key. Talk about your finances, family expectations, and whether pineapple belongs on pizza (seriously, some debates last a lifetime). The more open and honest you are now, the fewer surprise plot twists in your marriage later.
2. Survive an IKEA Trip Together
Nothing tests trust like navigating the labyrinth of IKEA while assembling a “simple” bookshelf. If you can pick out furniture, resist the urge to murder each other over missing screws, and still hold hands by the time you exit the store, congratulations, you’re in it for the long haul.
3. Talk About the Hard Stuff (Before It Gets Hard)
Your love is deep, but have you tackled the serious conversations? Kids, careers, in-laws who don’t believe in personal space, these things matter. If you can’t talk about future dealbreakers now, imagine the chaos when your mother-in-law insists on naming your firstborn after her late chihuahua, Mr. Snuggles.
4. Do a “Social Media Audit”
Are they liking thirst traps from their ex? Do they post cryptic song lyrics after arguments? Do they need three drafts before posting a birthday message for you? Social media behavior speaks volumes. If you can trust them online, chances are you can trust them offline, too.
5. Meet the Family & Survive the Holidays
If you’ve never seen your partner in the wild (a.k.a. their childhood home), you’re missing crucial data. Does their family engage in healthy communication, or do they resolve conflicts through passive-aggressive side dishes at Thanksgiving? Do they have a cousin who mysteriously “disappears” when the check comes at dinner? Observe and take notes.
6. See Them Under Stress
Anyone can be charming when they’re well-rested and caffeinated. But how does your partner act when they’re exhausted, hangry, or stuck in traffic with a malfunctioning GPS? If they turn into the Hulk over minor inconveniences, you might want to reevaluate whether you’re signing up for a lifetime of that.
7. Make a “Worst-Case Scenario” Plan
What happens if one of you loses a job? What if you have to move across the country? What if gasp your favorite coffee shop shuts down? Life is unpredictable. Having a game plan for the tough stuff shows you’re not just in love, you’re in partnership.
8. Do a Trial Run of “Forever”
Move in together (if that’s your thing), take a long trip, or spend an entire weekend in your pajamas doing absolutely nothing. Can you exist together in harmony without needing constant entertainment? If yes, you’re golden. If not… well, maybe that’s something to consider before committing to a lifetime of shared bathroom space.
The Final Word: Trust is Built, Not Bought
At the end of the day, love is great, but trust is what keeps love standing when things get real. So, before you start rehearsing your “OMG I SAID YES!” speech, make sure you and your partner have done the work to trust each other fully. Because no filter can fix broken trust, but doing these steps? That’s a game-changer.
Have a hilarious pre-engagement story or a trust-building tip? Drop it in the comments! Let’s help each other out before we all start panic-Googling “how to