Okay, let’s talk about the elephant in the room, the one that shows up when you’re about to get engaged. No, not your future in-laws (though we’ll get to them), but the big question that no one ever really addresses. That’s right, the “what if I’m not 100% sure about this marriage thing?” moment.
Here’s a relatable scenario: You’re on Pinterest, pinning wedding dresses that cost more than your car, while simultaneously Googling, “What do I do if I’m not sure about marriage?” Oh, and did I mention that Aunt Karen, who thinks a “margarita on the rocks” is the height of sophistication, has already asked you 47 times when you’re getting engaged? We’ve all been there, right?
Don’t worry, girl, this post is here to talk you through those doubts (the ones that pop up like surprise pop-up ads) and how to handle them without turning into a ball of stress. Spoiler alert: You don’t need a Pinterest-perfect proposal or an Instagram caption that’ll break the internet. Let’s get into it.
1. Acknowledge That Doubts Are Normal, It’s Not a Drama Plot
You know that feeling when you’re watching a rom-com, and the couple hits a bump in the road, and you’re like, ugh, just talk it out already? Yeah, the “doubts” you’re feeling about marriage? They’re pretty much a part of every love story, except this one’s happening in real life.
If you’re doubting whether you’re “ready” or if you’re making the right decision, that’s completely normal. Marriage isn’t like deciding on a new lipstick shade (though we wish it were that easy). It’s a big, life-changing decision, and it’s OK to feel unsure. And let’s face it, no one talks about the anxiety of signing up for a lifetime of shared Netflix passwords and a potential 50% of your closet being occupied by his stuff. Yikes.
2. Don’t Let Instagram Lie to You (No One Has a “Perfect” Proposal)
Oh, Pinterest. You’re both a blessing and a curse. You want to feel the magic, but you’re suddenly overwhelmed by “Pinterest boards for the perfect proposal”, like, is there an actual perfect proposal? Or is it all just photoshopped magic and flower crowns? Spoiler: Even the best proposal might not go exactly as planned. Someone’s going to trip. Someone’s going to cry. Someone’s going to forget their lines. But at the end of the day, it’s about the love and the life you’ll build together. You don’t need a “perfect” proposal.
So, put down that magazine (unless it’s for bridesmaids’ dresses, because you know, priorities) and stop comparing yourself to the #CoupleGoals you see online. Remember, reality is way more fun than Instagram’s highlight reel.
3. Communicate with Your Partner, Like, Really Communicate
You know when you’re in the middle of an awkward family gathering, and your cousin keeps asking about your engagement date while you’re still processing whether you should even say yes? Ah, yes. Those lovely moments of pressure. The truth is, any doubts you’re having about marriage should be talked out with the person you’re about to marry. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic sit-down with tissues involved (unless you want to). Just be honest and let them know how you’re feeling. You can ask questions like, “What does marriage mean to you?” or, “How do you feel about X, Y, and Z?” It doesn’t need to be a tense interrogation, but open communication is key.
And don’t worry, you’re not required to have all the answers. Marriage is about learning together, so take a deep breath and give yourself permission to be unsure.
4. Take Your Time, You’re Not in a Race
Ah, yes. The race to the wedding. Because apparently, society has decided that the moment you hit your late twenties, you’ve got exactly one year to get engaged, plan a wedding, have kids, and, oh, let’s not forget, start a successful YouTube channel with your partner. Just… no.
Here’s the deal: You don’t have to rush. Slow down, breathe, and do it at your own pace. Nobody is giving out medals for “fastest engagement,” so take the time you need to sort through your feelings. This is your life, and you have every right to navigate it in a way that feels right for you, no matter what your cousin Rachel says about “waiting too long” to get engaged.
5. In-Laws: The Ultimate Test of Patience and Diplomacy
Let’s talk about the real pressure you’re about to face: in-laws. If there were a national championship for navigating awkward questions from family members, you’d be in the finals. From Aunt Betty asking how you feel about “settling down” to Grandma advising you that “marriage is for life” (thanks, Grandma), the in-law situation can definitely stir up some anxiety.
Here’s how to handle it: Smile, nod, and remember, you don’t have to explain your doubts to anyone but yourself and your partner. If Aunt Karen insists on giving unsolicited advice, politely tell her that you’re still thinking things through, and if she keeps pushing, just change the subject to something like, “Did you hear about that reality show where they actually get married in 90 days?” Trust me, she’ll be distracted for hours.
6. Breathe and Meditate, Because You Deserve Peace
One of the best ways to calm your mind is by finding quiet moments. Take time to breathe and meditate, whether it’s listening to a calming playlist or doing some yoga. Not only will this help you relax, but it will also give you the space to think things through. Remember, everything doesn’t have to be decided right now. Take the pressure off yourself and enjoy the process, marriage isn’t a race; it’s a partnership.
7. And Finally, Embrace the Uncertainty
Look, I get it. We’re all perfectionists in some way. And yes, maybe you’re not 100% sure about marriage right now. Guess what? That’s OK. Embrace the uncertainty! Life is full of it. Whether you’re still deciding on your favorite ice cream flavor or figuring out your future with your partner, not everything needs a clear, final answer.
You don’t need to have everything planned out for the next 50 years (unless you’re secretly into that). But as long as you’re making decisions based on love, trust, and mutual respect, you’re golden.
Final Thoughts:
You know what’s perfect? You. And if you’re feeling uncertain, that’s just part of the journey. So go ahead, take your time, make your decisions, and never let society’s expectations box you in. Share your thoughts in the comments below, and let’s all laugh about how stressful and absolutely hilarious this engagement thing really is.