So, you’re pretty sure he’s going to propose. Maybe you “accidentally” left your dream ring Pinterest board open on his laptop. Maybe his mom has been side-eyeing you with a knowing grin at Sunday brunch. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve been dodging Aunt Linda’s so, when’s the big day? interrogation for the past six months. Whatever the case, before you say yes and dive headfirst into cake tastings and floral arrangements, there are a few things you should probably figure out about yourself first.
1. Do You Actually Like Him or Just the Idea of a Wedding?
Listen, no judgment, but sometimes a girl gets caught up in the sparkle. A proposal means a ring, an engagement photoshoot, and a wedding hashtag that you’ll agonize over for days (#HappilyEverAnderson? #MeetTheMillers?). But do you actually like him, as in, would you still want to be with this man if there were no dress, no Instagram announcement, and no three-tiered buttercream masterpiece? If the answer is “I guess?” let’s pump the brakes, sis.
2. How Do You Fight? (And More Importantly, Do You Fight Fair?)
A healthy relationship doesn’t mean you never argue, it means you argue correctly. Do you talk things out like reasonable adults, or do you go full reality TV meltdown, throwing metaphorical (or literal) drinks? If you can’t make it through a disagreement without one of you reenacting a scene from The Real Housewives, marriage might be…challenging.
3. What’s Your “Hiding-in-the-Bathroom” Hobby?
Marriage is wonderful, but also, you’re going to need alone time. What’s your go-to escape when you need a break from him playing video games or telling the same joke for the 97th time? Whether it’s yoga, journaling, aggressively reorganizing your pantry, or binge-watching Bridgerton in the bathtub with a glass of wine, make sure you have a way to recharge solo.
4. Are You on the Same Page About Money, Babies, and Where to Spend Christmas?
There are a few topics that can turn “’til death do us part” into “I cannot stand you for one more second.” Finances, family, and future plans are major. Does he think joint bank accounts are romantic while you prefer financial independence? Do you envision three kids and a golden retriever while he wants to live van-life child-free? And the real question: Are you prepared to spend every Christmas at his mom’s house while she insists you just haven’t tried her fruitcake the right way?
5. How Will You Handle The In-Law Olympics?
Speaking of family, are you ready for the in-law games? Will you be expected to spend weekends making awkward small talk with his dad about gas prices? Will his mom suddenly turn into a Project Runway judge about your wedding dress choice? Can you handle his sister acting like a self-appointed Maid of Honor despite, you know, not actually being in the wedding party? Know your tolerance levels, and set some boundaries now before you find yourself crying in a coat closet at Thanksgiving.
6. Are You Prepared for “Forever” (Like, the Unfiltered Version)?
It’s easy to romanticize the highlight reel of marriage, but are you prepared for the real stuff? Not just the cute morning coffee moments, but also the he forgot to buy toilet paper again and why does he insist on clipping his toenails in the living room moments? Love is grand, but it’s also about accepting that you’re signing up for a lifetime of hearing him chew. Loudly.
7. Do You Love Yourself First?
This is the big one. If you’re not secure in who you are, your dreams, your boundaries, your self-worth, marriage won’t magically fix that. You need to be happy with you before you can fully share your life with someone else. If you’re looking for a husband to complete you (cue Jerry Maguire flashbacks), maybe spend a little more time completing yourself first.
Final Thoughts (Before You Start Planning Your Engagement Photoshoot)
Marriage is an adventure, but before you RSVP “yes” to forever, make sure you really, truly, honestly know yourself. The wedding is just one day, the marriage is the real deal. So, before you say yes, take a moment to check in with yourself.
Now, tell me, what’s one thing you wish you had figured out before getting engaged? Spill the tea in the comments!