So, you’ve been dodging family questions at every holiday gathering like an Olympic sprinter: “When’s he gonna propose?” “Have you picked out a dress yet?” “Should I start knitting baby socks?” Meanwhile, your Pinterest board has more wedding ideas than an entire season of Say Yes to the Dress, and you’ve spent way too much time practicing your “surprised but not too surprised” engagement reaction in the mirror.
Girl, before you start perfecting that ring selfie with 12 different lighting options, let’s talk about something even more important than a flawless proposal: YOU. Yep, before you dive headfirst into wedding planning, here are seven reasons why self-love should be your real first commitment.
1. Because You Are Not a DIY Project
Wedding prep can make you feel like a human Pinterest board, crafting the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect aura of effortless elegance. But newsflash: you are not a shabby-chic mason jar centerpiece that needs constant tweaking. Instead of stressing over whether you should start a new skincare routine just to glow for the big day, invest in self-love that makes you glow from the inside out. No serum can replace self-acceptance (but, okay, retinol is magic).
2. The Pressure to Have an Instagram-Worthy Engagement is Exhausting
We live in a world where the engagement announcement has to be worthy of The Bachelor finale. The ring has to be big, the caption has to be profound, and the reaction has to be Oscar-worthy (“OMG I had NO idea!”). Instead of getting caught up in the optics, focus on how you feel in your relationship. Your love story isn’t a content strategy; it’s real life.
3. You Need to Know Who You Are Outside of “Future Mrs. “
It’s easy to get wrapped up in wedding planning and suddenly forget that you once had hobbies beyond scrolling Etsy for custom neon signs. Before becoming someone’s fiancé, make sure you’re solid in your own identity. What do you love? What makes you happy? A wedding is a day, but self-love is a lifetime subscription (and luckily, it’s cheaper than The Knot’s premium membership).
4. Wedding Planning Won’t Fix Personal Insecurities
If you secretly believe that getting engaged will make you feel finally worthy or finally happy, let’s pause right there. A ring isn’t a cure-all for self-doubt (if it were, jewelers would market them as “anxiety-reducing engagement bands”). Work on loving yourself before the wedding frenzy begins, because confidence looks better in every dress, from Vera Wang to Target clearance.
5. Awkward In-Law Conversations Are Easier When You’re Secure in Yourself
Spoiler alert: If his Aunt Karen is already making strong suggestions about the wedding menu, imagine what she’ll say about raising kids. The stronger your self-love, the easier it is to navigate in-law dynamics without second-guessing yourself. Practicing confidence and boundary-setting now will make your future family gatherings way less stressful (or at least help you master the art of the polite but firm smile).
6. You Deserve to Love Yourself as Much as You Love Your Partner
If you’re willing to plan an entire wedding around your partner’s interests (“he loves navy and gold, so those are the colors”), then surely you can give yourself the same level of care. Imagine planning your own personal love story, self-dates, solo adventures, hyping yourself up in the mirror like a rom-com heroine. Because at the end of the day, you are the main character, with or without a plus-one.
7. Because a Wedding is One Day, But You Have to Live With You Forever
Your wedding might be the most magical day of your life, but what about the days after? Before you focus on seating charts and cake tastings, make sure you’ve spent time creating a relationship with yourself. Spoiler alert: You’re kinda stuck with you forever. Might as well make it a good time!
Final Thoughts: Love Yourself Like You’d Love Your Dream Wedding Dress
If your wedding dress had a tiny stain, you wouldn’t throw it out, you’d fix it, because it’s worth it. Treat yourself with the same care. Self-love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about embracing yourself, flaws and all.
So before you get that ring-sized, take some time to invest in you. Then, when the proposal happens (or doesn’t, because let’s be real, your worth isn’t defined by a diamond), you’ll be ready for whatever comes next.
Now, tell me, what’s the funniest or most ridiculous engagement pressure you’ve experienced? Drop your stories in the comments, and let’s laugh (or cry) together.