So, you think your boyfriend is about to propose. Maybe he’s been acting suspiciously secretive, your best friend won’t make eye contact, and suddenly, your mom is very invested in your manicure schedule. Or maybe you’ve already said “yes,” and now you’re drowning in Pinterest boards, dodging Aunt Karen’s “When’s the wedding?!” texts, and wondering how anyone crafts the perfect Instagram caption without spiraling into existential dread. (“Saying yes to forever!” Too basic. “He put a ring on it!” Too 2010. “Guess I like him enough to sign legal paperwork!” Too honest.)
Breathe, girl. Engagement pressure is real, but it doesn’t have to consume you. Here’s how to survive the chaos while keeping your sanity, and your sense of humor, intact.
1. Take a Social Media Detox (or At Least, a Deep Breath)
Before you fall into the algorithm’s black hole of diamond rings and wedding dresses, take a step back. Social media has turned engagements into an Olympic sport, gold medals for the biggest rock, most cinematic proposal video, and caption that balances humor, romance, and casual humility. (Spoiler: Nobody wins.) If scrolling is making you more anxious than inspired, put your phone down and remind yourself that your engagement doesn’t need to be a production worthy of a Netflix special.
2. Set Boundaries With the Question-Firing Squad
Family and friends mean well, but if one more person asks, “Have you set a date yet?” you might just elope in protest. It’s okay to tell people, “We’re just enjoying the moment right now!” or even, “If I had a dollar for every time I answered that, I’d be able to afford this wedding.” You set the pace, not the peanut gallery.
3. Remember, It’s Your Engagement, Not a Rom-Com Script
There’s this weird, unspoken expectation that you should cry tears of joy, gasp dramatically, and immediately call your grandmother while doves ascend behind you. But what if your reaction was more “Wow, cool!” than “I’m sobbing on the floor of this five-star restaurant”? That’s fine! Your engagement story is yours, and it doesn’t have to fit a Hollywood script. (Unless, of course, Timothée Chalamet is available to play your fiancé. In that case, rewrite everything.)
4. Find a Mantra That Doesn’t Involve the Words ‘Bridezilla’
The second you get engaged, society loves to prep you for your descent into madness. Suddenly, you’re supposed to become a wedding-obsessed monster who cares about linen swatches and cake flavors with an intensity rivaling Olympic athletes. Here’s the truth: You’re still you. You can care about your wedding without losing your chill. Repeat after me: “I am not a bridezilla, I am a woman who simply wants her guests to eat good food and not wear neon to her wedding.”
5. Talk to Your Partner About What Actually Matters
It’s easy to get caught up in external expectations (hello, ten-page-long checklists from wedding blogs), but before you get lost in the chaos, sit down with your partner and ask: What do we actually want? Maybe you both dream of a giant party with a chocolate fountain, or maybe you’d rather have a small courthouse wedding followed by tacos. Your wedding, your rules. Ignore the noise and focus on what makes you happy (even if that means disappointing Great Aunt Mildred, who insists weddings must have a live band).
6. Laugh About the Chaos, Because It’s Absurd
At the end of the day, engagement pressure is ridiculous. Society expects you to go from “Oh cool, I’m in love” to “I now have spreadsheets, color palettes, and a detailed seating chart ranked by family drama.” If you don’t laugh at the absurdity, you’ll cry. So lean into the madness, make jokes about it, and remember: Whether your engagement is picture-perfect or a total mess, you’re still ending up with someone who chose to be stuck with you forever. That’s pretty great.
Feeling the engagement pressure? Share your funniest, most ridiculous engagement moments in the comments! Misguided proposal hints? Over-the-top family expectations? That one wildly inappropriate question your coworker asked? Spill the tea, we’re all in this together!