Let’s be real: you’ve been planning this engagement since the dawn of Pinterest. Your secret wedding board? It’s got everything, from the dreamiest centerpieces to a strategic seating chart that keeps your crazy aunt and your fiancé’s conspiracy-theorist uncle on opposite sides of the room. But before you start practicing your shocked-but-not-too-shocked “OMG, I had NO idea!” face for the proposal, let’s talk about something a little more important than the perfect ring lighting, your actual relationship.
Because while that super aesthetic engagement pic is great for Instagram, a strong, healthy relationship is what’s actually going to make that marriage last. So before you say “yes” (which we both know you’re going to), here are six steps to make sure your relationship is engagement-ready.
1. Talk About Money, Yes, Even the Awkward Stuff
Look, I know discussing finances with your almost-fiancé isn’t as fun as picking out a wedding hashtag, but hear me out. Marriage isn’t just about love; it’s also about figuring out who’s going to pay for Netflix and whether you’re team “joint account” or “Venmo request for every coffee run.”
Sit down, get honest, and discuss everything from debt to spending habits. If he’s out here dropping $200 on limited-edition sneakers while you’re budgeting your Starbucks runs, that’s a conversation worth having. (And no, “we’ll just figure it out later” is not a financial plan.)
2. Master the Art of Fighting Fair
If your biggest fight so far has been over what to order for takeout, congratulations, you’re adorable, but also wildly unprepared. Conflict is inevitable, but how you fight matters way more than why you fight. No one needs to be out here throwing passive-aggressive “K.” texts like ninja stars.
Practice using “I” statements instead of “you always” accusations. Learn to listen instead of mentally drafting your comeback. And if all else fails, remember: the person who brings snacks to the argument always has the upper hand.
3. Discuss Your In-Law Game Plan
Listen, we all know that one girl who married into a family where Sunday dinner is a mandatory four-hour event. And while you may love (or tolerate) your future in-laws, setting boundaries before the engagement is crucial.
Is your mother-in-law already sending you Pinterest board ideas for your wedding? Does your partner believe his mom is “just being helpful” when she insists on a Disney princess wedding theme? Now’s the time to strategize. A simple “We love spending time with you, but we need our own traditions too” can work wonders.
Bonus tip: If you’re worried about his family meddling too much, casually bring up a fake wedding tradition like “bride’s family picks the honeymoon destination” and see if they take the bait.
4. Get Real About the Future (Not Just the Wedding Day)
Yes, wedding planning is fun, but have you two actually discussed marriage? Like, beyond the aesthetics? What are your career goals? Do you want kids? If so, will you be the “screen time is bad” parents or the “Cocomelon is our babysitter” parents?
A lifetime commitment is more than just deciding between a band or a DJ. So if you haven’t had these conversations, it’s time to put down the wedding magazine and start talking.
5. Learn Each Other’s Love Languages
Because nothing says “healthy relationship” like realizing your fiancé’s idea of romance is fixing your car, while yours is him responding to texts with something longer than “k.”
Seriously, though, knowing how you both give and receive love can save so many future misunderstandings. Whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, or physical touch, understanding your love languages makes sure you’re actually speaking the same emotional dialect.
6. Have Fun, Like, Actual Fun
If all your conversations have become about wedding planning, take a step back. This is your pre-engagement era, enjoy it! Plan spontaneous date nights, try new things together, and remember why you want to spend forever with this person (besides their ability to tolerate your true crime obsession).
A wedding is one day, but your relationship is for life. Make sure the fun doesn’t stop once the engagement ring is on your finger.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, your engagement isn’t just about crafting the perfect Instagram caption or mastering the art of the ring selfie. It’s about building a partnership that lasts way beyond the honeymoon phase.
So before you say “yes,” take a moment to make sure your relationship is as solid as your Pinterest vision board. And if you’ve got any wild pre-engagement stories (or just need to vent about in-law drama), drop them in the comments, I’m here for the tea.