Picture this: You’re casually scrolling through Pinterest for “future home inspiration” (totally not wedding-related, duh), and suddenly you realize your “Dream Wedding” board has 478 pins and a subfolder just for centerpieces. You’re cool, you’re chill, you’re absolutely not spiraling into an engagement panic. But then Aunt Karen asks, for the 57th time, “So, when’s he popping the question?” and now you’re rethinking every major life decision you’ve ever made.
First of all, breathe. Second, yes, saying “yes” is a big deal. But it’s not an existential crisis-level big deal, no matter what your overcaffeinated brain is telling you at 2 a.m. Here are five ways to reassure yourself that you’re making the right choice (and not just doing it for the ‘gram).
1. Remember: Love Is Not an Instagram Caption
It’s tempting to focus on crafting the perfect engagement announcement, something deep yet casual, cute but not cringey. But here’s the truth: No matter how poetic your caption, someone’s still going to comment “OMG finally!!!” and completely ruin your moment. Love isn’t measured in likes (though, yes, we’ll all be refreshing our phones for the first hour after posting). Instead of worrying about optics, focus on what really matters: your relationship, your connection, and the fact that this person willingly listens to your unhinged rants about reality TV.
2. Forget the “Perfect Fiancée” Standard
Somewhere between Hallmark movies and TikTok proposal trends, we were tricked into thinking engagements require us to transform into domestic goddesses overnight. Suddenly, you feel the need to learn how to bake from scratch, develop an affinity for throw pillows, and say things like “Oh, I’m just so grateful!” while delicately sipping tea. Spoiler: You can still be your weird, snack-loving, chaotic self and be engaged. There’s no transformation required, unless it’s into someone who finally remembers to put gas in their car before the light comes on.
3. The In-Laws Are (Probably) Not the Villains
Yes, meeting the in-laws can feel like walking into an interview where the job is “wife,” and the company culture is “mild judgment with a touch of passive-aggression.” But let’s be real, they’re also stressed about impressing you. If they seem distant, they’re probably just worried about saying the wrong thing. And if they’re too enthusiastic, well… they’ve likely already envisioned what your future children will call them. Either way, it’s not a trap, it’s just people being people. Take it all with a grain of salt (or, let’s be honest, a whole margarita).
4. You’re Not Giving Up Your Freedom, You’re Gaining a Teammate
One of the sneaky fears about engagement is that it means your life is about to become a never-ending game of joint decisions. Like, will you ever be able to watch trashy TV without judgment again? (The answer is yes, just wait until they get hooked on it too.) A healthy relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means gaining a built-in hype person who supports your weird hobbies, listens to your elaborate theories about your favorite shows, and still finds you cute when you’re wearing your old college hoodie with unidentifiable stains.
5. Nobody Knows What They’re Doing, And That’s Okay
Real talk: Nobody wakes up one day and suddenly feels 100% ready for marriage. Love isn’t about reaching some imaginary level of perfection before saying “yes.” It’s about choosing someone who makes you feel safe, excited, and like life is a little funnier with them in it. It’s okay if you still panic-text your best friend sometimes. It’s okay if you don’t have a five-year plan. It’s even okay if you still don’t understand how taxes work (that’s what TurboTax is for, right?).
Final Thought: You Got This
At the end of the day, saying yes doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, have all the answers, or even have a wedding Pinterest board that makes sense (why is there a llama centerpiece? Who knows!). It just means you’ve found someone worth taking the next step with. So, laugh off the pressure, embrace the chaos, and maybe, just maybe, let Aunt Karen buy you that “Bride” sweatshirt she’s been eyeing for months.
Got an engagement freak-out story or some wisdom to share? Drop it in the comments! Let’s reassure each other that none of us know what we’re doing, and that’s perfectly fine.