You’ve had your Dream Wedding Pinterest board since 2013, and it’s a masterpiece. There are three color palettes (because, obviously, it depends on the season), a dress that will “totally still be in style” when the time comes, and a section dedicated to First Dance Songs That Will Make Everyone Cry (But Not Too Much). The ring inspo? You’ve subtly (cough aggressively) sent it to your boyfriend via Instagram DMs at least five times. He has seen it. He knows.
And yet…
He’s taking his sweet time, isn’t he?
Meanwhile, your friends are getting engaged left and right, filling your feed with teary-eyed proposal pictures and captions like “Forever starts now! ” (Cue dramatic eye roll). Your mom’s dropping not-so-subtle hints (“Have you talked about a timeline, sweetie?”), and your aunt, who somehow knows exactly when Mercury is in retrograde, keeps predicting that this is your year.
And suddenly, you find yourself spiraling. Maybe you are falling behind. Maybe your boyfriend isn’t proposing because he secretly doesn’t believe in marriage. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re just a normal human with normal emotions in an engagement-happy society.
So, how do you handle jealousy and insecurities before the ring? Let’s break it down.
1. Stop Letting Social Media Gaslight You
Instagram is a highlight reel, not a documentary. Sure, your bestie just posted a “spontaneous” proposal shot at sunset, but what she didn’t post was the two-hour car ride where she had a full-blown panic attack because she thought he was acting “weird.”
Instead of spiraling every time you see another #ISaidYes post, remember: their timeline isn’t your timeline. Your relationship isn’t a Netflix series that needs to hit a season finale by a specific date. Unfollow the wedding spam if you have to, or at least remind yourself that behind every perfect post is a woman who spent 48 hours debating whether to use “Best. Day. Ever.” or “A million times yes!”
2. Channel Your Inner FBI Agent for Good, Not Evil
We know you’ve done some light internet stalking. Maybe you’ve zoomed in on blurry ring box shapes in his jacket pocket (just in case). Maybe you’ve casually mentioned his best friend’s recent engagement to see if he breaks a sweat.
But let’s redirect that detective energy. Instead of obsessing over “signs” he might propose, focus on your own happiness. Pick up a new hobby (one that doesn’t involve analyzing his Venmo transactions for potential jeweler purchases). Make plans without assuming you might need to keep your nails done “just in case.”
Trust me, when it happens, you won’t need to play CSI: Engagement Edition.
3. Acknowledge the Comparison Game… and Then Burn It to the Ground
Comparison is the thief of joy, and also the reason you suddenly feel like your happy, stable relationship is somehow in crisis. Just because your coworker’s boyfriend proposed on a gondola in Venice doesn’t mean your love story is any less magical (also, good luck affording a gondola ride in this economy).
Instead of playing “Who’s Winning at Life?” remind yourself that every couple is different. Some people get engaged after six months, some after six years. And some people get engaged for clout, which is a whole separate conversation.
4. Master the Art of Dodging Awkward Family Questions
If you’re heading to a family gathering and you know the engagement questions are coming, prepare accordingly. Here are some response options, depending on your level of patience:
- The Playful Deflection: “Oh, we’re waiting for Beyoncé to RSVP first.”
- The Sarcastic Clapback: “We’re actually in a very committed relationship… with avoiding wedding debt.”
- The Reverse Psychology Move: “Why? Did you hear something? Do you know something I don’t??”
Nothing confuses nosy relatives faster than turning the interrogation back on them.
5. Focus on What Actually Matters (Spoiler: It’s Not the Ring)
At the end of the day, a proposal isn’t a finish line, it’s a milestone. The real goal? Building a happy, healthy relationship that actually lasts. The ring, the wedding, the Instagram caption… those are just details. Fun details, sure, but they don’t define your love story.
So instead of obsessing over the proposal, invest in the relationship itself. Communicate. Have real conversations about marriage, not just proposal fantasies. Make sure you actually want to marry this person, not just the idea of being engaged.
Because trust me, there’s way more to marriage than a well-lit proposal shot.
Final Thoughts (and a Slightly Aggressive Call to Action)
Listen, we’ve all been there, refreshing our Pinterest boards, side-eyeing proposal posts, and maybe just maybe stress-Googling “average engagement timeline by age.” But you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not behind.
So, let’s hear it: Have you ever found yourself spiraling over engagement timelines? What’s the weirdest thing someone has said to you about when you should be getting engaged? Drop your stories in the comments so we can laugh (and cry) together.