Ah, engagement season, the time when your Pinterest boards are packed with aesthetic wedding decor, and your phone is blowing up with “Did he propose yet?!” texts from your mom (and your mom’s hairdresser). You’re busy practicing the perfect surprised-but-not-too-surprised face for the big moment, dodging family inquiries like a pro, and mentally composing the ideal Instagram caption, because “I said yes!” is just so overdone.
But just as you’re about to float into your diamond-studded fairytale, here comes reality: money talk. Specifically, debt talk.
I know, I know. Nothing kills the engagement high quite like a “Hey babe, how much do you owe in student loans?” convo. But unless you’re planning to elope in Vegas and live off love and vending machine snacks, it’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, I’ve got your back. Here’s how to handle debt discussions without turning into a human stress ball.
1. Channel Your Inner FBI Agent (Minus the Interrogation Lamp)
You know how you stalked his exes on Instagram? That same investigative energy will serve you well here. Before sitting down for The Talk, gather your own financial stats, student loans, credit cards, that one store credit card you got for 15% off a pair of jeans. Knowing your numbers ahead of time makes you look like a responsible adult (even if your go-to dinner is still cereal).
2. Make It a “We” Problem, Not a “You” Problem
If you hit him with “So, how much debt do YOU have?” he might feel like he’s in trouble. Instead, try “How do WE want to handle our finances together?” This way, it’s less Judge Judy, more Team Us.
3. Pick the Right Moment (Hint: Not During a Netflix Binge)
Bringing up debt in the middle of The Bachelor finale? Risky. Instead, choose a time when you’re both relaxed, like over coffee, during a casual walk, or literally any moment where one of you isn’t hangry.
4. Turn It Into a Game (Because Adulting is Hard)
Finances are overwhelming, so make it fun. Try the “Debt Confessions” game, each of you writes down a financial fact (good or bad) on a piece of paper, then swap. It turns a serious convo into a mini scavenger hunt, and who doesn’t love a little mystery?
5. Bring Snacks (Because Snacks Solve Everything)
No one has ever cried over debt while holding a plate of nachos. If you suspect things might get tense, introduce emotional support snacks. Bonus points for wine.
6. Use Pop Culture to Lighten the Mood
Compare student loans to The Hunger Games (aka a brutal fight for survival) or credit card debt to Ross and Rachel’s “We were on a break!” saga (never-ending and full of bad decisions). Humor makes scary topics way more digestible.
7. Plan for Awkward Family Interrogations
Your in-laws will ask about money, so have a script ready. Something like, “We’re working together on a financial plan that makes sense for our future” sounds mature while subtly telling Uncle Bob to mind his business.
8. Use Social Media Wisely
It’s 2025, and your relationship status isn’t official until it’s on Instagram. But before posting that ring selfie, maybe hold off on buying every influencer-worthy wedding item on credit. Just saying.
9. Set Realistic Wedding Goals (Yes, Even for the Dress)
A $20k gown won’t magically make your marriage last forever. If you’re drowning in debt, consider the pre-loved dress market or a designer inspired version. You’ll still look stunning, without selling a kidney.
10. Create a “Debt Date Night” Tradition
Once a month, grab some takeout and check in on your finances. It’s like a book club, but instead of Bridgerton drama, you’re tracking your progress toward financial freedom. Sexy, right?
11. Remember: Love > Debt
At the end of the day, debt is temporary. Love (and the right financial plan) will outlast that mountain of student loans. So take a deep breath, talk it out, and remember, you’re in this together.
Your turn! How did you (or how would you) handle the dreaded debt talk? Drop your best advice, horror stories, or hilarious engagement-related mishaps in the comments. Let’s make finances slightly less terrifying, one funny story at a time.