So, you’re about to get engaged. Or maybe you already are, and now your Pinterest boards have gone from “Dream Wedding” to “Budget Wedding (Help).” Meanwhile, Aunt Karen keeps asking if you’ve set a date yet, and your mom is already drafting seating charts based on family drama power rankings. But amidst all the cake tastings and dodging the inevitable “when are you having kids?” questions, there’s one topic that deserves a little extra attention: money.
Yes, that thing that makes the world go ‘round but also makes you want to throw your phone into a lake every time you check your bank balance. If you and your partner are planning on merging lives, it’s time to talk about merging finances too. But don’t worry, I’m here to help you navigate this super sexy conversation without breaking the bank (or your engagement).
Step 1: Accept That This Will Be Awkward
Money talk isn’t exactly the love language they teach in rom-coms. No one dreams of the moment their fiancé whispers, “Baby, let’s talk about credit scores.” But avoiding the convo will only lead to bigger problems later (like explaining why you thought Klarna was a good budgeting tool). Rip the Band-Aid off and start talking!
Step 2: Take Inventory, Like, an Actual List
Make a list of everything: bank accounts, debts, savings, subscriptions (do you really need six different streaming services?). This is also the time to confess any secret credit card balances. Transparency now saves you from surprises later, because nothing ruins a honeymoon like discovering your spouse has a gym membership they haven’t used since 2019.
Step 3: Define Your Money Personalities
Are you a saver who refuses to pay for guac, while your fiancé is a spender who believes in daily Starbucks runs? Recognizing your financial habits early will prevent future fights about why someone thinks $200 candles are a necessity (not naming names, but you know who you are).
Step 4: Discuss Your Financial Goals Like It’s a Group Project
Whether it’s buying a house, traveling, or just surviving inflation, setting goals together helps you stay on the same page. And yes, “keeping the wedding budget under $50K” is a goal, even if TikTok makes it seem like a low-budget wedding means serving guests a single Ritz cracker.
Step 5: Decide on a System, Yours, Mine, and Ours?
Some couples go full joint account, others keep things separate, and some create a hybrid system. The right answer? Whatever stops you from side-eyeing each other when the credit card statement arrives. Test out different setups and adjust as needed, because nothing says “true love” like compromising on whether Target runs are a joint expense.
Step 6: Set a “Fun Money” Budget
Look, you deserve to buy that overpriced latte or the new Stanley cup everyone’s obsessed with. Agree on a no-guilt, no-questions-asked personal spending allowance for each of you. This way, you can splurge on a Sephora sale without a side-eye, and he can buy whatever mysterious things men purchase at Home Depot.
Step 7: Plan for the Unexpected (a.k.a. Life)
Emergencies happen. Cars break down, pets eat things they shouldn’t, and sometimes, you just need to replace a bad haircut with an emergency salon visit. Build an emergency fund together so you’re ready for life’s “fun” surprises (looking at you, unexpected vet bills).
Step 8: Create a Monthly Money Date
Instead of waiting until tax season to panic, schedule a casual check-in over takeout. Pour some wine, review expenses, and remind yourselves that you’re a team, not two contestants on a reality show about financial survival.
Step 9: Get on the Same Page About Family Expectations
Will you be expected to contribute to cousin Jake’s third destination wedding? Is one of you definitely going to be asked for a loan by a mysterious “business venture” family member? Set boundaries now so you’re not scrambling when these inevitable scenarios pop up.
Step 10: Remember, It’s About Teamwork, Not Math
This isn’t about who makes more, who spends more, or who is better at remembering to cancel free trials before they start charging. It’s about building a life together where you both feel financially secure. At the end of the day, love isn’t measured in dollars, it’s measured in who remembers to Venmo their share of the brunch bill.
Final Thoughts: Let’s Talk!
Now that I’ve (hopefully) saved you from a few future money fights, I want to hear from you! How are you and your partner handling the money talk? Have any funny finance fails or creative budgeting hacks? Drop them in the comments, because nothing brings people together like mutual financial struggles.