So, you’re about to get engaged, congrats! Or should I say, brace yourself? Because this stage is basically a rom-com meets a reality show, where you’re simultaneously dodging your aunt’s “When’s the proposal?!” questions and curating the perfect Pinterest board (which may or may not include a backup fiancé). Pre-engagement is a weird limbo where you’re planning your future together while also arguing over whether “marble and gold” or “rustic barn chic” is a superior aesthetic. The stakes are high, the tension is real, and fights? Oh, they are lurking like your mom in your Instagram DMs.
But don’t worry, bestie! Here are 10 communication tips to keep the love alive and avoid turning into an episode of Bridezillas: Prequel Edition.
1. Retire from the Mind-Reading Olympics
Newsflash: He doesn’t know what “that look” means. If you expect him to magically decode your Pinterest-inspired hints, you’re setting yourself up for frustration. Be direct. Want a fall proposal? Tell him. Dreaming of a specific ring cut? Say it. Telepathy is not the move.
2. Chill with the Instagram Pressure
Yes, your proposal needs to be magical, but does it really have to be a cinematic masterpiece with drone footage and a custom soundtrack? Let’s not stress him out trying to make your engagement go viral. Love isn’t measured in likes, remember that before you start scripting your caption like an influencer launching a brand collab.
3. Agree on Boundaries with Family
Mothers-in-law, bless them, can be a whole experience. Set boundaries early, especially when it comes to proposal planning. Otherwise, you might end up with a ring hidden inside a lasagna at Sunday dinner because someone (not naming names) insisted on “helping.”
4. Don’t Weaponize The Ring Talk
If your dream ring is more expensive than his first car, consider if the budget vs. bling debate is worth the battle. Would you rather have a ring that blinds your friends or a fiancé who still has functioning kidneys because he didn’t have to sell one?
5. Practice Selective Hearing with Friends’ Opinions
Your bestie might think getting engaged at Disneyland is “so cringe,” but if it’s your dream, then Mickey and Minnie can be your witnesses. Do what makes you happy, not what gets the best reaction in the group chat.
6. Compromise Without Losing Your Mind
Wedding talk is already creeping into conversations, isn’t it? Maybe you’ve always dreamed of a beach wedding, and he’s leaning towards a hometown ceremony. Instead of turning this into a full-blown war, remember: Marriage is about compromise. Maybe an island-themed backyard wedding? (Just kidding. Kind of.)
7. No Ultimatums, Please
Threatening to leave because he hasn’t proposed yet? Yikes. Give him space to plan something meaningful instead of making him feel like he’s starring in The Bachelor and the final rose ceremony is next week.
8. Stay in the Moment
Yes, planning the future is fun, but don’t forget to enjoy where you are now. Binge your favorite show, go on spontaneous dates, and revel in the fact that you know the proposal is coming. This limbo phase won’t last forever, unless you turn every convo into a “Where’s my ring?” interrogation.
9. Laugh Off the Small Stuff
The stress is real, but not every disagreement is a battle. He calls it “gold,” you call it “champagne.” He thinks a backyard proposal is cute, you think it’s lazy. Take a breath. Laugh. Remind yourself why you’re in this together, because you love this person, even if he thinks an Amazon Prime ring box is an acceptable storage solution.
10. Remember: It’s About the Marriage, Not Just the Proposal
At the end of the day, an Instagram-worthy proposal is cool, but a strong, happy marriage is the real goal. So, when things get tense, ask yourself: “Is this a forever problem, or just a right-now drama?” That perspective shift? Game-changer.
Final Thoughts:
Avoiding pre-engagement fights isn’t about walking on eggshells, it’s about honest, open, and (occasionally sarcastic) communication. So take a deep breath, send this article to your soon-to-be fiancé (you’re welcome), and share your own hilarious pre-engagement stories in the comments! Because let’s be real: We’ve all been this close to throwing hands over a wedding vision board.